Welcome to our Homestead

Welcome to Rocky Oak Homestead™

A quiet, peaceful sanctuary from the chaos of everyday living in a world on the brink of insanity! A place where we prepare for the worst, but hope for the best!

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Friday, April 28, 2017

I'm baaaaack!

Whew! Much has changed since I blogged here last. I have really missed this place...it was like a home to me...I moved my blog for awhile and blogged about my journey with my dads death, and it really was therapuetic for me, but my home is here...at Rocky Oak...

Where to begin...I guess I'll start by saying we sold all the chickens, turkeys and the incubator...why? well last September right after my dad passed I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus and was told I could no longer be in the sun for long periods, that and I was just plain tired from the previous 9 months of my dads illness and death...Do I miss them?...honestly, no, I don't...We only have pigs and bees right now...we have 3 sows, 1 boar and 23 piglets...at this point in our lives...We are focusing on food production only on a different scale...we are focusing on fruits and veggies...I live in an area where I can buy farm fresh eggs whenever I need or want them for cheap, so I am enjoying less expense in feed and also the fact I no longer stay frustrated at escaped hens that would dig up my flowers or freshly planted herbs...it's wonderful to have a nice "clean yard"...(Update on my health soon)

Our electric company sprayed our ditch last summer and killed our bees....We were supposed to have been on a no spray list, however someone overlooked that and sprayed...it is now taken care of and we have purchased another nuc...it is going strong and we are pleased.

This year I was finally able to put in a good sized herb bed and have it all decorated to suit my taste.... its been nice...We have most of the veggie garden in and went somewhat smaller than previous years...partly due to age and partly do to the fact we had a hard time keeping up with the bigger garden....We like time to just sit and watch the birds and other wild life that call Rocky Oak their home. :)

Farm man and I are in a place in life that we want to enjoy our "homestead" and all the work we have put in here the past 9 years...We want a sanctuary, a place that affords us somewhere to relax, feel safe and enjoy...not a place that feels like a work prison and no time to relax and spending so much time worried about the economy collapsing that we are stressed out all the time and do not feel safe and like we haven't done enough...Life is short, someday I don't wanna wake up and realize all the time I wasted working towards something that might never happen...We are enjoying our newly found freedom from all that!

Before I quit blogging here I had mentioned Farm man and I were dieting...I am proud to say I have maintained my weight loss doing low carb and so has Farm man...we both would still like to lose a bit...me, I would like to lose 10 more lbs, Farm man has a bit more than that to go, but he is much more healthy and his doctors are supporting the Low carb more natural diet we have chosen.

I have also being doing a bit of yoga and have taken up meditation...I have found it greatly reduces my stress level and has helped me tremendously to deal with my frustration and anger over many things in my life including our church experience several years ago...at this point Farm man and I have chosen to not persue 'church' and have instead decided to do a study of different religions and seek to find our own truth and not the truth we have been fed by others...I am sure some of you will find that offensive and I certainly mean no offence...we are all free to believe what we wish and have it respected...we all must find out own way and we are finding that we enjoy the study of buddhism( no we havent "converted" just studying) and various other ways so believing.

Rocky Oak has evolved a great deal in the past year....we still enjoy "farming" only on a smaller scale...pigs and bees work for us right now...I am now free to spend my days gardening and relaxing working on getting my health back in order...When my dad passed it was the catalyst to my new way of life...I looked at him just days before he past and ask myself, what was his life all about....he and I were not close, he was a very abusive man....but I learned forgiveness in those last months...it freed me from much anger...I looked at his life and saw the years and years of regret that he couldn't fix...he tried...and I feel he made his peace with me, my mom(divorced for 33 years) and my siblings...but I looked at all the years wasted...wasted in anger and proving he was right...all the years missing life trying to prove things that were meaningless...I vowed to enjoy my life and be happy...I want peace and joy in my life....not chaos and someone else telling me they are right and I am wrong...equally I don't wanna be that person...I don't wanna spend years working so much for what I want that I miss the opprotunity to enjoy what I have...Life is much slower paced here and I am happy...I am more peaceful in my soul than I have ever been...I look foward to sharing our life with you...Our pigs, our garden, our way of life and certainly our journey to finding peace in such a chaotic world!

My side links will be changing soon as well...My blogging here will be at my pace...I am putting no pressure on myself..blogging should be fun, not a chore or a job! 


Until Next Time...
The Homestead Lady

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

I am going to begin blogging here again....much has changed...but I have missed this place...I am hopeful for an end of week posting and update on all the changes here!

The Homestead Lady

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Let gardening 2017 commence!

I have picked up my onion sets, beet seeds, iceberg lettuce seeds, cabbage seeds and garlic from a local farm store...Today I placed my order for following seeds
  • Lemon bee balm
  • Dill(bouquet)
  • Rocky Top lettuce mix
  • Fordhook Swiss chard
  • Bloomsdale Spinach
  • Banana pepper
  • Parisienne Carrots
I order from Baker Creek Heirloom seeds, have used them for many years and love them. I highly recommend them to anyone looking for heirloom/open pollinated seeds. You can find them HERE <click

Hopefully my seeds are in next week and I can begin putting them in the garden soon...This weekend we will plant the onions, beets, and garlic... 

In addition to the above plants/seeds we will also be planting tomatoes of various kinds, zucchini, yellow squash, okra, bell peppers, jalepenos, green beans, blackeyed peas, melons(various), cucumbers, possibly potatoes and whatever else we can find room for! LOL...we love our garden fresh veggies and herbs!

We also are hoping this year to add several more fruit trees to what we already have. Time will tell. Not having farm animals this year has freed up the funds to put back into our land and focus on food production. 

My herb bed will also expand ALOT this year...here is a sampling of what I have already planted or hope to plant
  • Rosemary
  • Thyme
  • Basil
  • Sage
  • Lemon bee balm
  • Lemon grass
  • Chives
  • Dill
  • Mint
  • Lavendar
  • Cilantro
  • Parsley
  • Oregano
  • Garlic
Last year my area was way to small and while things did ok they did not do as well as they could have. So this year its back to the drawing board....I have already began the mental planning of my new and much larger herb bed! 

Gardenng for me will be different this year due to my diagnosis, but I am determined to make it work! 

We will also be adding flowers and various other landscaping as money and time allows. This is my favorite time of year and I can already feel the 'winter blues' lifting...Come on springtime!

Until next time...Much love and light

Monday, February 13, 2017

Good Christian vs. Bad Christian

Before you begin reading please note I no longer in anyway subscribe to the way of thinking outlined here. I do not believe in good or bad christians. Ibelieve in mature and immature christians and that is the duty of mature christians to help those weaker(immature) in a loving, kind, non-judgemental way.

So, when I woke this morning this was on my mind. I have come to realize that even though I have come a very longs ways in healing from the last church ordeal, I have a long ways to go and I think quite possibly I will carry some of this stuff with me for the rest of my life. All I can do is continue to get this stuff out, deal with it the best I can and move beyond it.

In our last church there was a subtle yet pronounced good vs bad mentality. Not just about "good and evil" but a good christian vs. a bad christian. We heard sermons about this often. I would like to outline the thinking that comes with this because I see it often all across the board in all denominations, not just the one I was in. These are in no special order or ranking


  • A good christian doesn't ask hard questions and a bad christian is full of questions.
  • A good christian will have a bible verse or even several verses to quote you no matter the issue you have. A bad christian will offer advice outside the bible.
  • A good christian will shout the house down with Amens, Hallelujahs, Glory to God's, and "preach it brothers". A bad christian will sit in silence and contemplate what is being said.
  • A good christian will be at church anytime the doors are open even if have you a contagious illness like the flu because after all thats just satans way of keeping you from God....A bad christian has the common sense to stay home and NOT spread the flu!
  • A good christian doesn't read anything outside of his/her own denomination or even about other religions because your mind could be corrupted and you would be led astray. A bad christian enjoys learning about other denominations and religions and at times can help his faith grow.
  • A good christian has faith to move a mountain, heal what ails them and others,and faith to know they are the only one right. A bad christian can and often does struggle with faith.
  • A good christian has discernement enough to see everyone elses flaws and to be able to tell if they are under demonic influence. They also have the right to tell you that they have that discerment and to point out all you 'flaws' and if your a good christian you thank the said "pointer outer" for explaining how worthless you are. A bad christian would probably tell the good christian to kiss their backside!
  • A good christian does not take pharmaceutical drugs/pills because all he needs is the "Gos-Pill"(yes this was really said to us) a Bad christian likes a good dose of advil for pain once in awhile! Oh! the shame!
  • If we are good chrstians we can all be little Jesus'(yes we heard this) and a bad christian, well I suppose we are little satans?!?!?!? LOL
  • A good christian understands all other denominations except theirs is bad and wrong. A bad christian respects all denominations and people.
  • A good christian understands that to be a good christian you have to be a conservative republican and vote as such. A bad chrisitian will vote however the Lord leads and respect others political views. And maybe a bad christian will not vote at all!
  • A good christian will be sure to let you know that the "liberals and/or democrats" postion on issues are lies and they are just full of themselves. A bad christian will look at both sides of an issue and make an informed decision.
  • A good christian understands science is all a bunch of hooey in spite of the fact science has cured diseases and continues to make strides in many areas. A bad christian will be intrigued by science and all the facts even facts concerning the bible that science has found to be true!
  • A good christian will explain that when they judge someone it is "righteous" judgement and that its ok to judge in a "righteous" manner. A bad christian will understand judge not lest ye be judged.
So there ya have it! A very small list of my good vs. bad. I think I wanna be a bad christian!! It is meant as tounge in cheek so please take as such... Many are meant as funny, but all are things I have encountered in my life. I fall into the bad christian camp....LOL..Sad to say that but it was how I was viewed by my church and even some of my christian friends...I no longer allow the opinions of those "perfect, conservative, discerning,righteous judging" christians to rattle me much. I am finding peace with who I am. If anyone reads this and you have encountered this kind of mentality...I'm sorry! Don't let ya get to ya...you are ok being who you are..Embrace you and be the best you, you can be! Your great the way you are!


Keep Mindful of your speech and actions~

Friday, February 10, 2017

Let it be, let it go & move on!

Hello there friends! Its been longer than I had intended it to be since I last blogged....I've taken some time to just focus on life and be still...Our weather has been very nice so I have been enjoying spending time outdoors, enjoying mother nature and doing some purging of things in the house...

During this time of quiet and reflection I have been able to really let go of some things...I came to the realization that pain can be like a child...Let me explain...

Pain comes from being hurt either intentionally or unintentionally...it can be caused from words or actions...it can even be caused from lack of words or action....however it comes into your life, when it does this is the beginning....the birth of your pain...sometimes we are able to let it go and move on realizing its not our pain to carry.... and other times the pain is so intense and so deep we simply hold on...when we hold on we begin to nurture it, nurse it, love it, raise it.... we almost gloat in it....it becomes our child...it becomes part of us...the longer we care for it and nurture it the bigger it grows...the bigger it grows the more attention it requires...we come to a point in our life that the pain is all there is...we cannot seem to get away from it....like a demanding 2 year old it requires a great deal of our attention and emotion...in turn this makes us angry, bitter and almost paralyzed and unable to even function...the pain now becomes who we are...we have allowed it to take over every aspect of our life....I was to this point...The pain of the things of the past had all but taken my life...I was holding onto to pain from childhood and a devastating pain from 35 years ago...I had been rejected and hurt...it festered in my mind and heart for all these years...instead of letting it go and moving on and realizing it was over and it was the past and living for today and the looking forward to the future, I kept it alive in my mind and my heart...it was destroying me...every little hurt I endured from that point on built on top of all the past hurts...I think I was to a point I was so full of hurt, anger, resentment, bitterness there was absolutely no room for love, compassion, kindness and most of all peace...

Something happened a couple weeks ago with a dear friend...there was a misunderstanding...not serious really, but things had come to a head that had festered for awhile...it was time...it was in that moment that I was able to clearly see some things...I realized so much of what I had thought mattered....really didn't...I realized that for years I have been living my life around what others thought I should be doing, saying, believing etc....In that moment I let go....I understood that I had been living for others hoping to get rid of the pain...See, I guess I thought if I was just did what everyone else was doing my pain would somehow go away...if I just believed enough, had more faith, prayed more, got into the word more...whatever it was they said I needed to do to be happier I was doing....or at least trying to do...but what I realized is that pain doesn't go away by doing things to cover it up....it doesn't go away by pretending its not there...it goes away by
facing it head on.....it goes away by being real with you and who you are....when you do those 2 things you can begin to chip away at the pain that has encapsulated you...I have spent much time in quietness, meditation and self reflection the past couple of weeks....I am finding I am ok without the pain....little by little I am letting it go...placing it back on the ones that hurt me...I no longer wish to carry their words, action, behaviors and unhappiness...When I was carrying all of the baggage they had placed on me, and I willingly carried, I had no room for anything good...I was so full of bitterness, anger, hate that any good that there was, was being smothered under the load...This child of pain had grown to the point I could no longer carry it...it was time to release it and let it go....let it go its own way...give it back to the rightful owners.

I refuse to allow myself to be held captive by someone else's words action or behavior ever again...Life is short....I have more life behind me than before me at this point...I do not have time to waste in being weighed down by hurt...I know hurt will come again, its part of being a human being...but I also understand the vitalness of letting it go and not raising it....not hanging on to it....I no longer want to be in victim mode...I am a survivor!

I will no longer allow others to dictate what I should or should not believe
I will no longer allow others to treat me as if I am less than
I will no longer allow the behavior or others to tell me how I should act

My journey is not your journey and vice versa....We should never try and get someone to conform to what our ideas are...We are all unique individuals...we have unique feelings, thoughts, ideas and mannerisms...our differences should be embraced, not stifled....Be who you are and love yourself...I am finding the me that I so long ago left to be what others thought I should be...Sadly, that is time I cannot get back...but I can certainly make the most of what time I have left...and I intend to do just that!

It is my sincere hope each that read this, take inventory of your life and let go of anything you need to let go of....be who you are in-spite of what others think...embrace you...the real you...if you have pain...drop it right where you are...walk off and refuse to pick it back up...when others bring it up and try to get you to carry it just a little further...smile, and quietly walk away...let it be....let it go....move on!


Keep Mindful~


NOTE-If you have trouble reading the graphics clicking on them should make them larger.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

It's a beautiful thing!

It's a been a nice few days...I have moved beyond my last post and I am feeling much better...Thanks for allowing me the space to vent...I have found losing friendships hard but losing a long term friendship much, much harder...however I also know it is at times necessary in order for us to become all we are meant to be....

I have learned that when someone can't accept you for you, or you can't accept them for them...it's time to move on...When you feel the need to explain yourself all the time and you feel invalidated in your feelings even if they are valid...it's time to move on...

Church abuse is poorly understood even by those who experience it...it is often so subtle that even the abused can't quite figure it out....they may struggle to put into words what they experienced which has been the case with my husband and I...so 'friends' sometimes just can't quite grasp what your going through because you can't concretely explain it...but this does not make your pain less real...If you have not been in an abusive/authoratarian church you cannot possible begin to understand...and that's ok....I'm tired of trying to explain myself to those that don't really try to understand or don't really care....So, in this case moving on was all that was left....I spent many months trying to explain and it was all in vain...letting go of this friendship was hard but also very relieving and i'm sure she would tell you the same thing...so forward we both move...

This last week has given me a sense of renewed hope of finding myself again...finding the people and things I love in life...I had a wonderful converstation with a 'phone friend' yesterday...you know who you are 😊 and it was nice....we discussed the journey I am on and she listened with no judgement in her voice...I so appreciated that...she didn't quote scripture or tell me to the read the bible...she just listened...I felt good when I got off the phone with her...Love you Des! That's the kind of friend we all need...those who can listen to us and even though they may not agree with us or we may not agree with their stance on an issue we respect each other enough to give them space to believe...I love that! We are not anyone's judge...period!

One of the things in life I love is gardening both flower and veggie...my husband and I have gardened for our entire marriage from small to large...we love it....while it is hard work it is worth it...This year, as I have mentioned will be a bit different due to my not being able to be in the sun but I will still manage to garden...I am making a list(seeds) and checking it twice...I am ordering heirloom flower seeds and veggie seeds...I am excited for spring to arrive so I can get outside even in the shade and enjoy nature once again...

Nature has so much to teach us...have you ever stopped to notice how when man destroys a plot of earth it will automatically begin to heal itself? Grass will begin to grow again in the barren-ness...saplings will seemingly sprout from out of nowhere...wildlife will in some form begin to inhabit that place....it's amazing to me...I love the lesson in that for humans...No matter how 'barren' we become spiritually we are able to heal and move on...we will be replenished with good friends and a sense of well being when we just allow the process of healing to take place...it will take time, sometimes a long time... but it will happen if we keep at it...This is how God created us and the earth...there is for me a deep sense of interconnectedness...I love that I can learn from all of nature...I just have to be open to the lessons...I think this why spring is my all time favorite season...so much renewal and newness...a new beginning for all things and beings...

Trees are a particular fascination for me...they can live through rain, sleet, snow or shine and still flourish...they can withstand a drought and still keep the life in their leaves...A tree begins from a seed...the seed does not become a tree overnight...it takes many years...the seed is patient in becoming all it was meant to be...it slowly, but patiently allows the process to happen naturally....it does not rush...once the seed breaks through the soil it has left its past behind...and moves on to new things...it has left behind all it has known thus far.....but as it breaks forth from the soil it looks upward and finds the light...it grows toward the light...ever reaching, day after day reaching for the light...after years of growing and enduring sometimes horrendous conditions...rain, snow, sleet, hail, drought, famine, tornados, hurricanes etc...it matures...it still stands in spite of it all...it may be bent, and some branches missing...but its alive...its roots are stong and deep...it survives...and it still offers shelter to those seeking....

We should all be like this tree...make sure our roots are deep in our belief system...know what we believe and why so we have a purpose to keep growing...always reach for the light even in the darkness....when the winds and drought and all other manner of destruction come our way, we can stand...we can weather the storm battered but still standing...standing in what we believe and what gives us our strength in time of great distress...be ready to provide shelter for those in the storm and do so without judgement and condemnation...stretch out those strong branches and offer support...when the calm comes offer a place of rest...like the birds just simply looking for a place to rest and collect themselves before moving on...the tree doesn't ask alot of questions or allow a branch to fall when a bird looks for a place to sit...it makes no judgment about why the bird needs a rest from it's journey.....no, it calmly and beautifully offers a safe place...a tree is symbolic for many things to me...I think nature encompasses so much of God's character...his ability to forgive us even in the most terrible of situations....he renews us over and over when we simply ask...he offers us shelter in the storm...he provides all we could ever want...and when we are finally free from what burdens us he simply offers a place for us to rest...no questions, no expectations, no judgement...just rest...

It's a beautiful thing!