Welcome to our Homestead

Welcome to Rocky Oak Homestead™

A quiet, peaceful sanctuary from the chaos of everyday living in a world on the brink of insanity! A place where we prepare for the worst, but hope for the best!

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Saturday, May 2, 2020

Times are changing

We’ve been in this pandemic for a few months now and no one knows how much longer it will last. Some believe it will end this summer, some believe we could be in this thing for a long while...I believe the latter. After years on social media and the past few month of seeing non stop chatter and arguing over this pandemic I had to take a break...not sure how long I’ll be gone or if I’ll ever go back. Our county is so divided at point I’m not sure we’ll ever come together again.

This morning I sat outside in the warmth of sun, enjoying my coffee and just thinking...I thought about my dad and how he would handle this pandemic, I thought about my best friend and if she were here what she would say...

In the distant blue sky I saw a bird flying, free from any care of this pandemic just soaring through the beautiful sky with ease! For a moment I wished I could that bird...

I saw a butterfly dancing around and it gracefully landed near me...I took the opportunity to snap a few pictures...it sat quietly and patiently as I took them as if it knew this was somehow healing to me...once I had my pictures it flitted off waving it wings as if saying goodbye...I think it was a sign that my loved ones are still close🙂.

I went back to my coffee and my thoughts...I looked up at the trees and thought how strong they were, they go through so much...changing seasons, wind, rain, hail...pandemics...yet stand strong...I thought about us, the ones very aware of this pandemic and I’ve seen so many differing reactions...fear, anger, denial,strength, weakness, sadness and downright despair..I’ve seen kindness but also hatefulness....I’ve seen helpfulness and hopelessness...I’ve seen hero’s in many areas...I look around and I feel sad, but also hopeful at the same time...sad for what society has lost and some of the
loss came before the pandemic...the loss of compassion and respect for those of a differing opinion...I feel hopeful that somehow moving forward in the next months to years we can unite and find the respect and compassion for each other as human beings and not look at each other political rivals...our world and times are changing...good or bad at this point I’m unsure...but I know for me, I want to take this time and reflect, rejoice, and remain ever mindful of life...my dad always said...prepare for the worst and hope for the best...I think that’s sound advice....in a world where you can be anything...be kind, be mindful, and take care...Times are changing....

Until next time...

Tuesday, December 17, 2019

Lost another friend

When someone dies in the time following is as If time has stopped...it’s like sitting and being frozen...like you can’t move forward and you can’t go backward...you just exist...

Emotions seem to visit in waves...sometimes crashing in like waves of the ocean on the rocks spraying our sadness and despair on everything around it...and at other times, like a soft gentle ripple barely being noticed....

As the seconds turn into minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days we look out at the world and see people busy with life...bustling to and fro, we stand, wondering if we even exist anymore...do they hear my cries? Do they sense my pain? Do they even see me? Or maybe I’ve become invisible....or maybe....they simply don’t care...

Sitting quietly pondering life, lost in my ocean of thoughts staring blankly at the wall in front of me I question the Who, what, when, why, where and hows of life and death...

It seems only minutes that I’ve sat in this place but a glance to the window shows me it’s been hours...dawn is now dusk....have I worked through anything?

Maybe...

I realize the world does go on...rain clouds will give way to the sun....the leaves will fall, ice and snow will melt and soon there will be new foliage..the green of summer will again turn to autumn with the brilliance of colors and the leaves from the trees will fall blanketing the ground...once more snow will fall...the cycle of life and death continues...

I, we, will get through this I whisper to myself...yes, the world goes on...this rock we inhabit will keep spinning...seconds will turn to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days...so on and so forth...

Birth and death will happen continuously...Our job... I believe ...is to make the most of of our time in between our life’s spring(birth) and winter(death) we need to touch lives in a way that matters...make this earth a better place to be...smile, be kind...leave everyone better than you found them...forgive, love, laugh, be grateful...act silly...cry when you need to, it’s ok to be sad...when it passes....be better!

Make a difference to even just one person. Don’t judge, don’t be mean...no one is above anyone else...we are each on a journey...we will never all agree...and at death none of this stuff will even matter...we all become equals!

I think the message of life is quite simple really....Leave the people you meet better than you found them...regardless of your differences! Embrace, accept, love...

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Where to begin...

It's been so long so since I've blogged here. So much has changed yet so much has remained the same.Iam hoping to get back to blogging it is so therapeutic for me. I miss it. Being on facebook i've just let this slide.

So, after a long break from "farming" ...last spring we added back in some chickens and some goats...it's been good for me. There are days I still struggle with the death of my best friend and I can find my solace in my critters and my garden. My life has had more "noise" than I like the past few months with being on facebook...all the drama, negativity and censorship has really taken its toll on me. I am contemplating leaving there and focusing more on my blogging. Blogging is a way for me to deal with my feelings. Time will tell....

So this year we had a pretty good garden. I focused a lot on herbs. I am learning a lot about different herbs and their uses for medicine as well as other things. I did pretty good growing a decent herb garden this year and i'm already looking forward to expanding next year. This past season we did container gardening and it worked well for us. Much easier to care for with a decent yield. That too will be expanded next season.

We had goat babies born early spring, 2 does and a buck. We re-homed the buckling and our buck and right now only have 3 does with one expecting. She was bred before we re-homed the boys. I am hoping for doelings from her. Goats bring me a great deal of joy. Their antics are forever making me smile and giggle. It does the soul good.

I've been making candles and a variety of different things of that nature just to give me something constructive to do, i've enjoyed these things for years but have just just recently thought about making a business out of it....seems there's a lot of competition in the market and of course drama as with anything. I prefer to just be inspired and do my own thing, no need to copy cat others but that seems the norm these days. I wonder what happened to creativity and originality in people? Seems it's been lost.

I am still studying different religions and finding my own truth. Spending so many years in a religion that never allowed for different views this has been a hard, but eye opening journey for me. Seems everything I ever thought I knew has been tossed to the wind. All other religions, I was taught were evil and of the "devil" I am finding is not true. Most religions are very peaceful and mindful of other beliefs. I am finding Christianity to be the most troublesome of all religions. I really hate to put that in writing but I am finding the judgment and ignorance in that religion mind blowing. I know many many good Christians but coming from the life I came from I also know many many bad ones. I'm not sure where I will "land" in all of this but I am very drawn to Buddhism. I just love the peace of it all. The focus on being in nature and mindfulness is something I've always been drawn to. I love the focus of working on oneself  and not trying to convert others to a different way of thinking.....I have since a childhood been in love with the outdoors and all things nature. In my "old church" I was likened to a witch because of my love of  nature....Crazy, crazy stuff...I am now free to embrace my love and reverence of nature without feeling like I am sinful or destined to hell. I'm not sure i'll fully be able to get over the hurt I felt over all that....soon I will share that story as I feel ready to shed light on abusive Christianity. 

I'll sign off for now, but promise I'll be back soon...I miss blogging so much....

Be Mindful,
Me💖

Monday, December 10, 2018

Changes & Life

I have never been a person that liked the winter...it's to cold and dreary and it always reminded me of death...everything alive dies in the winter...this year I have adjusted my thinking and I am finding the winter to be a bit refreshing...the cold air is refreshing from the stifling heat here in the south...and life must rest and renew....the fall and winter are a time of rest for much of nature...in the spring new life will begin...I am working on my mindfulness and learning to find the beauty and purpose of each season..it's not as hard as it once was...after all, it's just a season, not a permanent thing...When we spend our time fretting of over things we can't change, like the weather seasons, we waste a lot of time...time we cannot get back...change is part of life...resisting that change is what brings us misery...it's easier to accept that change is inevitable and even if you don't like it, agree with or support it, it's going to happen...you either go with it and the make the best of it...or fight it and be miserable...I choose to just go with it...which brings me to my changes...

In my last post I blogged about our tiny house endeavor...that has been put on hold...we have another opportunity that we are looking into...one that will work better for our situation...While I was excited at the tiny house option, I was also open to the the change this other opportunity brought....In years past I would have been upset and disappointed, but things happen for a reason and forcing an issue that isn't meant to be will only set us up for failure...I guess it called "faith" to many....We just trust that "God" and the universe has our back and will bring us whatever is right for us...our job is to listen and embrace it...I'm excited to see where this journey takes us in the next couple of months....

In homestead news we lost 5 chickens to what we think was a opossum a couple weeks ago...I was able to replace them with hens already laying so it worked out great...We are getting more eggs than hubby and I can eat...we share with neighbors and family...It's awesome to be generous...The goats are doing good...i'm sure we will have "kids" closer to spring...I am very much looking forward to that...But for now most my time is spent indoors staying warm...On warmer days I meander outside and stand at the fence watching my chickens peck and being grateful for the life I have been given...While at times its difficult and brings great sorrow...there is more times that are good and joyful....I am so thankful for all I have and look forward to sharing my journey of life with you all...

Until Next Time

Monday, June 18, 2018

Weeds in our journey

Once again it's been far to long to since I visited here...Life is just busy, or rather I should say full. So here's my update and thoughts.

We bought a buck to breed to our doe's to this fall. We had intended to get 2 bucks, brothers, but with only 3 doe's we decided against that. We will add more bucks as we expand our herd a bit.

Our bee hive is flourishing and we are enjoying having bees and honey!

We had planned on getting more chickens, but talked myself out of it. I'm just not ready to be tied down with them again. I am enjoying my freedom to much! LOL

Farm man and I became grandparents for the 4th time in April.  A little girl named Remi. She just turned 2 months old and is a beautiful little lady. We are enjoying our blessings.

We have also been doing some light traveling in recent months delivering the puppies we sell. We are enjoying the freedom we have found since becoming empty nesters. :)

As usual life has had plenty to teach us and keep us busy here on the homestead. The one year anniversary of my friends death, the 2 year anniversary of my dads passing and the 4 year anniversary of leaving our church is all upon us...it certainly makes me weepy...so much loss in a short period of time. I am slowly working through all the emotions and changes that come from loss. I feel its been a very slow process but yet it also seems like yesterday all this happened. 

This morning as I checked my email there was an email from a person whose writings I subscribe to. It was so timely and spoke volumes. I want to share a snippit here...

The writer was talking abut where she lived as a child and all the beautiful gardens that once thrived there. Over the years they had become unkempt and overgrown. Someone had been working on restoring the gardens and said to her..

"You can't just go in with a garden like this and start tearing things out-everything would die off. You've got to go slowly and allow the secrets of of the garden to reveal themselves to you."

Wow! Profound! I feel that's kinda how my life has been for the past 4 years...Just bumbling around throwing out this and that with no rhyme or reason hoping against the odds all this pain and confusion would just go away... I've been so busy trying to rid all this pain that i've not taken the time to see the beauty or wisdom in all of this...and yes, there is beauty and wisdom in our pain...just like the garden above, many times we focus on the weeds to the point we can't see the beauty that lies just behind them...we think the only way to 'fix it" it to tear everything out and start over when in reality we just need to slow down and begin the daunting task of removing the weeds and keep the beautiful growth that lies just behind them. Weeding, as most of us know is a painful and slow process, sometimes it feels overwhelming and we simply just don't where to start...I think that's kind of been where my mindset has been..."where do I start"...truthfully, you just pick a place and start and slowly working to dig out all the weeds and sometimes very deep roots...it is painstaking...we will toil and sweat and want to give up..but we must stay at it to ever find the all the beauty that lies just behind the weeds...slowly we will begin to see to progress and the beauty will begin to emerge...all the effort will then be worth it...most of the time in the end we will come to find all the work put into weeding becomes so minimal compared to the radiance of the beauty left behind...We find it was all so worth it...

I have done a lot of weeding over the past 4 years, and it's been hard, back breaking work...I have discovered my focus has been so much on the weeds I have failed to see my progress in my journey...My brother pointed out to me in a conversation the other day I have come a long way and have been able to change my perspective so much...I guess because i've been in the trenches trying to dig my way out I forgot to stop and look at the beauty left behind in the wake of my weeding...and there is beauty, learning and much wisdom i've gained over the years...I just need a new perspective...I need to change my focus from a negative to a positive and realize our journey is for a reason...be it painful, joyful, easy, hard, ugly, pretty...its all for our benefit...All the hard work of weeding pays off with a bountiful harvest...so it is with our life journey...We can't appreciate the beauty if we never have weeds. We need to be grateful and thankful for the weeds in our journey!

Until next time...
Kris




Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Well, hello blogland!

Yes, I'm alive and doing well...Not sure why getting back to blogging has been so hard for me other than my time is being spent elsewhere..but hopefully I can figure out a way to fix that!

So what's going on with you all? Things are quiet as always around here...my youngest daughter is due very soon with our 4th grand-child, 3rd grand-daughter... we are excited! Spring has decided to to hold off I guess in these parts, it's frustrating as I am so ready to be outside playing in the dirt...when I'm outside in nature I am in my element! The goats we bought in December are doing well, the kids are growing and getting big...I have a buck on deposit and will pick him up the end of May or first part of June..

It's been a long journey the past years...but it's been good and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...finally! Grieving is hard and there is no time limit like we like to believe. People will say well, it been a year or however long...I always wanna say "and why does that matter.? See, i've learned grief is ongoing, it doesn't stop when you want it to, or wish it would, as a matter of fact...I don't believe it ever stops, we just somehow learn to live around the loss of our loved one...I think we grieve indefinitely and sometimes the grief is more intense than others...We do learn to do life differently without that person or persons but they’re always in our hearts, thoughts and lives to some degree...and because of that grief is too...

When I decided to stop homesteading I had it in my mind I just needed to "get over" all the loss we had suffered in the last 5 years..I thought I needed to time to "grieve" and when my grieving was done I could pick it all back up...but as I said, I have learned grieving doesn't end... I also learned life does indeed go on...I will grieve as I continue on my journey of life...when those feelings come up I just need to take time and feel them, process them and keep moving forward...

In order to move forward I must actively engage in those things that define my life...such as homesteading...in past months i've been stuck..stuck in thought and hope....hoping this grief would just magically be gone one day and when it wasn't I began thinking something was wrong with me...there is nothing wrong with me..my grief process has been normal....What isn't really normal(for lack of a better word" is my thinking...thinking this would all go away and I wouldn't grieve anymore after a certain time period had passed...

A lot of time has passed and I still cry from time to time over all the loss...but its ok...And it's time for me to realize that it's ok for me to still enjoy life and all things I used to love...I think I did need a break from all the stuff we had going on...I did need time to process all that had happened and to find me...I needed to time to figure out if what I was doing was really working for me, as person and woman...the answer I found was yes and no...Lord! why can't things just be cut and dry..LOL...Homesteading is my deep passion...but doing it on the scale I was trying to do it on was not working...So when we pick it up this time, it will be on different terms...a few goats, a dozen or chickens..and the bees...that's enough!

I realized in my 'down time' that if I spent all my time working I wasn't really living...Farm man and I want to travel even if its just short trips...we are making that a reality now...its been nice...

We are still not involved in organized religion and doubt we ever will be again...we have made our peace with ourselves, what we believe and with those that hurt us beyond words...albeit way different than before, it is working for us...

I look forward to sharing day to day life here with you all...I have no specific direction to take this blog in mind...it will simply be a collection of thoughts, lessons and what our life is like on Rocky Oak Homestead hope you all will join me!...Stay Tuned!


My new little buck to added very soon! No name yet.




Happy Homesteading,

~Kris